THE WRONGED WOMAN

The press has had its way with the Spitzer spectacle and now the unhappy couple belongs to the lawyers and late night comics, but I can’t let it disappear without a couple of comments.
While the latest scandal involving a thoughtless politico and wronged wife was unfolding I had a wretched cold that left me near voiceless, so all I could do was croak and wave my arms at the TV.

But, sure as there are big deal honchos who believe the fringe benefits of high office include sexual dabbling along with executive parking privileges there will be another powerful man saying to his wife, “Honey, we need to talk. And then will you put on a nice suit and hold my hand in front of the TV cameras?”

It didn’t take long. Within a couple of weeks Spitzer’s replacement, the new governor David Paterson admitted he too had committed adultery, but so had his wife. So I guess in their case it’s a draw.

But back to the shocked wife and contrite husband scene. Each time that happens you have to wonder. Would a powerful woman do this? And if the roles were reversed, would her man stand by her side?
I’ve long maintained that as adept as women are at multi-tasking, a woman governor, president or head of the school board wouldn’t naturally consider fitting into the agenda special time with her intern or the hunk who delivers bottled water. I think she’d probably use any extra time to go to the gym.
But if she did stray and was caught can you imagine the humiliated husband staring down at his shoes in front of a giddy press pack?

Dina McGreevey, who was married to the governor of New Jersey implicated in a gay affair, told NPR that even while she at first stood beside her man she really “wanted to punch him.”
Now, that would be a refreshing touch on the Nightly News. Or how about a separate press conference where the woman says she’s only going along with this humility for the sake of the kids but she really thinks he’s a louse.

Author Sue Miller writes about such a randy politician and his long suffering wife in her latest novel “The Senator’s Wife.” At a reading she talked about the legacy of famous men who fooled around but whose affairs were once done discreetly and the salacious details unknown until the men were out of office or dead. Mentioning John F. Kennedy, she said, “We couldn’t imagine that man’s appetites.”

Everyone laughed at that, even though we were mostly all women that night at the reading. It was like we accept that some men are just charming cads.
I thought about that in terms of all the jokes about the shamed Gov. Spitzer. Like he was really stupid to hire a prostitute and yet some commentators attached a stud-ly likeability to the guy. As for his wife, she got mostly pity.

In Sue Miller’s book when the senator’s wife finally gets sick of her husband’s affairs, she moves to Paris. At least she gets something out of the deal. Paris? Delivering a punch in the nose? Either one’s better than having to take it like one more mute and mortified wife.

Susan