FRIENDS FOREVER

You know that scene in the movie “Evening” based on the Susan Minot novel when the Meryl Streep character crawls in bed with the dying Vanessa Redgrave character? They haven’t seen each other in years, but they still connect like they did when they were young women and when they talk about what they did then and where they’ve gone since, they’re girls again.

Old friends, the ones who knew our original hair color, our parents and first love, preserve the link to our own past. And new friends, who meet us in the middle, as career women and mothers and neighbors, keep us energized.

On this week’s Juicy Tomatoes radio show five women talk about how we need our friends – separate of family, colleagues and contacts - especially as we get older. And how we celebrate each other when we get together.

Hear the podcast on www.juicytomatoes.com
Susan

TO CUT OR NOT TO CUT

I recently had lunch with a friend who announced that she was going to have some work done and I knew she didn’t mean a new kitchen. She’d come into a little extra money and decided to splurge on her face. I was stunned. I never figured her as all that vain or as one who would go under a knife voluntarily. Besides, I think she looks fine. She looks her age, which is my age.

But I encouraged her in her decision because friends do that and told her it’s her money and her choice. She said she felt guilty, considering what else she could do for the world with that money. I said write a check to your favorite non-profit and then go do what you want.

Having said all the right things, I went home, looked in the mirror and started pushing my face around.
I mean, come on, you can’t help but think … what if. We’ve been second guessing our looks since we were 12 and it doesn’t stop….even though we know that you can be lovely at any age and that we’ve earned these lines and there are more important things to value and worry about.

But it remains a tantalizing subject. Would you? Could you? This week on my Juicy Tomatoes radio show I talked to two women who made different decisions. One went ahead with full-on surgery- eyes, forehead, chin, the jigglers along the face. The other continues to resist.
I think that right now most women are letting aging come naturally, although that doesn’t mean you can’t do something about those sunspots. Right?

But I do wonder what’s going to happen in the future when our daughters are in their 50s. Will facial remodeling be as commonplace as teeth whitening and coloring the gray? And then, how much harder will the choice be?
susan

WHAT'S SO GOOD/BAD ABOUT GETTING OLDER?

What did you think 50 would be when you were growing up? Or... ohmigod, 60?? For most of us there was “young” and there was “old.” In the middle was something mushy and unappealing called “middle age” which slid more into the “old” category.
But times have changed and that’s because we have changed.
Would you call Isabella Rosellini matronly? Or Diane Keaton an old lady? What about your best friend .. or yourself?
We’re not buying into that old stereotype of life being over and stuffy and stodgy and regretful because of a number.
I've also decided to stop saying “50 is the new 40," because the truth is that “50 is the new 50” and "60 the new 60" and so forth.
On my new Juicy Tomatoes show on public radio (listen on www.juicytomatoes.com)
we started out talking about what is good and bad about getting older.
Now you tell me what you think.
Susan